my mum woke me up at 1o in e morning. damn bloody early. ):
there goes my beauty slp.
woke up & realise that i hv to go to my nephew's man yue jiu.
in e toilet was stil wondering what to wear, & blah blah blah los.

stil had no idea what to wear, & was crazily thinking to pon e whole thing! haha.
after like half an hr thn i realise e whole house very quiet,
very unlike e usual time when everyone is preparing to go fer such events.
saw my sisters room door closed thn i opened it & i saw,
THEY BLOODY HELL STIL SLPNG!!!
was freaking pissed by my mum fer allowing them to slp fer an hr more!
i know very childish, but ... its slp you see! e most crucial!!
woke them up, & started nagging that i dontwan to go, i wanna slp.!
was totally like a spoilt brat in e morning.

however, after learning that my darling ethen wil be going, i changed my mind!
so much fer seeing my darling!!
browsed through my entire wardrobe, & ended up walking out of e hse in skirt.

my dad couldnt find that uncle's hse. so we ended up searchng fer damn long & was late.
hah. reached there. as expected, almost al e guests i dontknw.
in tht family, i am a total stranger.
i hardly visit them, cause i dont see a ned to =/
e only relation is like, my dad is her godson.! & its damn lame fer me to go there.
al her daughters, sons, granddaughters, grandsons, greatgraddaughters, greatgrandsons, are al in cliques.

walked in, & saw e person which i wished i nvr knew standing at e door.
at tht moment i was like, can i not walk through that door?
cause she freaking love to touch my head, & would constantly mess my hair up. ):
i acted to be some tall dude, & walked in. HAHA! she couldnt reach my head! (((:

al e food was fer vegetarian. so i ddnt eat much.
dont quite like e taste of e flour made stuff.
was al alone fer like half an hr before my darling came!
took photo with him.


my darling ethen hv cough )):
tk care! haha.

i so love him man! hes super cute, & very nice!
before i left i said bye to him, thn he gave me a flying kiss, & said bye.
& he grab my hand, walked me to e gate, & keep waving. haha.
if only he was older than me!

seeing him, just cheers me up from what happened in e morning.
but he only made me smile fer e time i was with him.
after which, i was super moody again. hais.
-its not what i want.

emotions just take control of every bloody shit thats going through me.
my actions, my thoughs. !
my mind hv to say !

thanks al fer e concern.
knowing that everyone is there fer me, but why?
its not e lonliness that is haunting me.
its e emptyness.

as promised,
i removed my love from my heart.
its filled my hollowness & emptyness.
very tempted to place my love back, & fil it up once more.



i commanded my heart - STOP LOVING! FRGT IT!
my heart replied - CAN YOU?
& i asked - CAN I?