just realised that ytd's post is the 444th! haha.
back to posting daily. just wanna write how i feel ar.
seriously blog's appearance doesnt matters. its e details.

mhm, hvn been talking to you 2 from e start of e week properly.
i dontknw why. just very affected by my own results that i dontknw how to face e both of you.
yes, its my fault fer e cause of your disappointment.
but my disappointment aint any lesser too.
after studying so hard, ths is what i get. do you think im happy?
do you think i'l stil hv e bloody mood to talk to you 2 & entertain yr qns?
i know its ridiculous at point of time fer me to scream back when you are talking to me nicely.
sorry. but i really dontknw how to talk to you nicely.
fer e amount of hopes you've pinned on me, cause me to feel just a great dissatisfaction with my own results.
your silence gave me an abundance of stress.
yr words sent me ample worries that could last me fer life.
im not blaming you fer all this, but im just stating how i feel.
so now i ask fer peace that ive nvr asked before.
i stand before you, begging fer e lonliness that i wanna have.
just leave me alone, & i'l be alright real soon.

at some point of time, i really feel how useless i can get.
ive studied, did everything i can.
yet this is it.

doesnt it proves my intelligence?

ken said that e difference is that, ive tried & they have not.
& if this is my so called tried, then i'l nv make it.