alrights, i haven't been posting fer the past week. mainly because i'm still trying to get use to my new place, i still haven't got a photo to my new place and new room. haha. SOON!

the rest of the post is gna be very wordy, and long.

well, ever since i've shifted in, i've been trying to study. but yeah, somehow it worked a lil, but that lil lil bit isn't of much use at all. i use to start my revision a month bef mids, and look at the date today. its later than the latest time that i've started so far fer the past 3 years i've spent in deyi. i have no idea why this is happening, maybe its because of my lack in self-discipline. and i do agree, that i'm very bad at it. i can't seem to get myself started on a single piece of assignment, and i would usually give in to temptations. kill me! i don't wish to fail my mids and lose my footing.


its the same setting, but the different people.
with the streets lights shining, the cars honking.
the same song at the background, the same way we sat.
its just a different route.
searched around in the dark, leaned my head forward.
and i found myself lying on a different back.

really feel like telling you how much i miss you.
really feel like shouting it out loud.
really feel like telling you how much i care.
really feel like telling you how exactly i feel.
but i'm just not given the opportunity to.

i used to be very sure of your love instead of mine. i never had to doubt your love fer me, your care fer me. your care and concern fer me touched me in almost every occasion. in the past, there wasn't a day where i had to ask myself if whatever i was feeling was fake. because you would always assure me again and again, with your little actions, with your words. you had me feeling comforted and loved with you around. i was almost like the happiest girl, when i had all of it, and nothing deprived me from having more of your attention. I was the only one that was revolving around your life.
just when you got me so addicted to you, you have decided to take everything away. including that love and patience you have fer me. i don't uds why. i'm no longer sure of your feelings, let alone your thoughts and actions.
inconsolable, unbearable.
with gritted teeth, i braved the way.
bef the day those white flags are risen, i pray that you'll come infront of me.

我越来越 不懂你的心。
有这想方弃的念头，却还做不到。
不要判我死行。
熟不可忍的心酸。