having the sudden urge to go on a shopping spree, but then again, i keep wanting to lock myself in. not to study, but just to spend my time away.

Locking myself in, might not be such a bad idea anyway. And at least, I might still be able to live in denial, without having to face the decreasing number as days pass. I'm seriously trying to study, but I do feel the mental block and the occurring mental breakdown that's about to take place. 

I still don't feel it, do I?

Or have I soon became numb to it? 

I realised the cruelty of emptiness, but what can I do?

23^rd.

I swear, you're the most ideal and wanted 23^rd I would ever ask fer. 

Trust me, I'll never take you fer granted again.