Sometimes I really do wonder if I'm doing things right. Come to think of it, each time I'm required or forced into a situation, handling tremendous fear and stress, I tend to rely on my trustable friends' care. Then seeking their opinion to help remedy the situation, doing what they think I should do, doing what they think its right, doing what they think will harm me the least. Realising all this, have made me understand how much this people really do mean to me, and how much this people have done fer me. On the countary, I've also realised how useless I am. Escaping has been my forte. Denying the truths has been my profession.

Upon making major decisions, friends' opinions have to be sought. Even until the point when the decision is made, I'll still be pondering if that will be right. Often contradicting myself. Claiming to know what has to be done, and how is has to be done. But deep down, what do I really know?

Often making decisions in a hurry, then realising that it isn't right. Followed by regretting, and then grumbling. My life revolves about this particular cycle and it wouldn't get any better than that. Instead, things get more complex as I grew other, my decisions didn't only affect myself. But it also involves the individuals around me. Sometimes even affecting the mood of others.

You asked me how I'd go about seeking fer the perfect remedy. Honestly, I wish I could really tell you I don't know. I really don't know how I could resolve this matter to bring you minimum hurt, or rather no hurt at all. The stress comes from your tears. Have you figured that out? There's just so much that I've been worrying fer and thinking of, that kept me from doing what I feel I ought to do. Yet to you, I'm procrastinating, I'm keeping you in suspense. I did ask fer advice, but I've been also weighing the consequences of my actions.

I may be procrastinating, I may be stealing time. But all I ask is fer a little more of your patience. I will think of something, and I can think of something. And I suppose this would be all I can tell you fer now. Cos I can't even understand my own thinking, let alone understanding you.

It works the same way as, I can't even take care of myself, so how do you expect me to take care of you? Whether you take it literally, or you really do understand what I'm trying to say. I don't really want to care. I know this is gonna cause you to be really upset. But hey, just let me get my revision done. Let me get my O's done.

I swear, you'll get what you're waiting fer, as soon as this period is over.