suddenly got e urge to type a second post. i was piano`ing halfway then stared into e blank. all e memories just filled my mind. tears blurred my vision, flowing down in a single file. my heart crying out loud yet im just sliently letting my tears flow infront of e piano. i can hear my heart crying yet i cant hear myslf breathe. i cant even grasp a breath from e air around me. whats on top me is those work not done, those memories flooding me, those questions not answered and all.

all those things tht are not a prblm in my life in e past happens to be a prblm in my life now. why is this so? how can e person in e midst of suffering ever find out her cause of all this miseries? when i cry do u see my tears? maybe last time yes. but now no. your eyes have only e piano and her. your eyes only sees her laughter and joy. what about me? have my place in yr heart totally vanished in tht multiple days?

you are only torturing me. causing tht hurt in me to become more deep. hais. but what can i say. i am just gonna sliently let e guy tht i love so much hurt me more. not tht i love letting you hurt me. but its because i should say tht i am willing to let you hurt me not only for now. but for e next 5yrs. i will always be here for you. no matter in what way u need me to be there for you, whthr is you wanna hurt me more, or need me to encourage you. i wil always be.

if i could collect every drop of my tears and show them to you, then i wonder after one month. how many pails you get. e other time dalton was saying tht before slping, crying makes it easier to slp. is it true? seriously its not. esp to me. i find is so dmn hard to get to slp nowadays. tears just flow at e thought of all thats is going on.

to tell u e truth. i still love u and i shall admit tht i still ned you by my side.