HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TEDDY!

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talk about ytd frst,
in e morning i was seriously fine, stil okay.
though i feel it in my heart, but im fine.
i kept myslf from doing anythng that would gv myslf away.
but i couldnt rly pay attention to wadevr tht was being taught.

i thought i was okay, but i was wrong.
i thought that its gna be quite easy fer me to cope with, but i was wrong.
when you were suffering, i had to ask myslf to be mean & to sit back to watch.
my heart was like, go help, go help.
yet i couldnt do what my mind wanted me to.
hais, i rly feel e pain deep.
i pretended as though i was fine, pretended as though i ddnt care abt you.
but in me, i was fighting with myslf to not care fer you.
i was gng through tht struggle to get myslf to act as though i ddnt care.
closed my eyes, walked up.

had compre test. not counted in ca1, so i anyhw do.
ddnt rly gv a damn cause i wasnt in e mood.
school ended at 1245.
went with dal & dom to orchard to learn maths. dal taught me Emaths, sets. fnsh learning everything alrd. finally understand!

met agnes, then came back to sch.
stayed until 1o3o fer e campfire thingy.
doggy came too! yays. played played played.
i suan msharyati til she pekchek! loll. medic!

yes, mrlee i promise to make e best out of shit i am in. thanks fer helping me straighten out my thoughts & help me understand wad i am there fer. rly thank you. i know i made a very silly mistk to choose triple maths, bt as ive promised, i wil. i wil try as hard as i can to. though there isnt any room fer regret at ths point of time, or even ltr, but letting me knw tht i can actually be in 3o9 studying double science now instead of 3o7, its not useless. at least uve answered a question that ive been asking. i wil mk it de! no matter wad.

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ths morning couldnt wake up lar.
came late fer cca orientatn. supposed to report at o73o, e pro woke up at o73o. whahahah!
cca orientatn was okay lar, thn aft tht went to hall to watch performance.
e most interesting one, was e frst 2.
we shouted like siaos, hahah. radha went on kajiaoing band members. their performance was cool! heheh.
mnd performed too. alicia dance very nice! hahs.
both band & mnd rocks lar.

went to hub with radha, ros & linmin. we go eat at one corner, then e guard come chae us away, saying that we might be doing some illegal thingy there -.-

went to resonate.
argh! i dont wan to go csc 5 a side tmr anymore.
i wanna go church tmr! pls pls pls.
e forfeit is super funny. ken, ian & kellie.
ian, center.
ken, dontknw e tittle.
kellie, some kiddish song.

struggling deep down. opposing everything my heart tels me to do. acting to be mean, acting to not care. but thts nt true. its hurting me, yet i dontwan to show it infrnt of you. its killing me, yet i dontwan you to knw. i regretted not treasuring you when we were so close to each other, now that we hv drifted. i lost everything. lost in everything. but more importantly, e fact that i lost you, i stil cant come to terms with it. because you were e only thing that i treasured.