sunday.
i couldn't wake up fer church. was just too tired i guess. went to my uncle's hse fer a short visit then went home to study fer chemistry. thought that there was a test on monday, but yeah, its on wednesday instead. anyway, was kinda slacking in my room when im supposed to be studying. lollllll. my dearest called me at night, felt better (:

monday.
school was alright la. RAH! had to stay back in school to rush all my english assignments, hope i dont do too badly la. lolllll. went fer soccer training aft that. watched half of the guy's match and went straight home. couldnt slp the whole night.

it was just a random thought back then. i didnt expect myself to treat that thought so seriously and transformed it into my dream, my goal. i got so close to accomplishing it, and my chance just got ruin. well, its my fault like what he says. i didnt show that i was committed, neither did i show i was keen during the month that everyone worked so hard. so yeah, i dont deserve it. not at all.

tuesday.
had physics test today. was too tired last night to study fer it. so i most probably would have flunk it la. that wil be e last ppr im gna fail man. dont wanna fail anymore. had math remedial aft school today. taught chinyan differentiation. learnt that goldfish have 7sec memory. lollllll. went fer guitar aft that. learning a new song(:
got like tons of work undone. shit la. haha. still need to revise fer chemistry! my brain is full alr!(:

was reading through my old posts last night. reading those small words, it still hurts. never did I ever thought I would have loved someone so deeply in my secondary life. the fact that I did amazed me. fer all the sacrifices I have made, fer all the things I've done fer you, til now I still felt it was worth it. just disappointed at the way I handled everything and my incapability of expressing my feelings. its all in the past.

the art of self-denial, my way of life;
goodnight love.