for ytd didnt post. stupid computer gt problm..

today i went to church as usual. nth really interesting happen in e frst half of e service. after all e kids left for sunday sch.. then thr was a quiet time for pple to share. then dear shared abt his application. so many pple looked so shocked. ddnt xpct him this kind to go and study in e line of music. u all, all think he must be doctors like his family, huh? esp ying. she was so disppointed to hear that he was leaving. today's sermon was about truth? surprising i didnt sleep. i paid attention in the whole sermon. after church wheni was walking to e toilet with dear then i met ying just walking out. she stared at dear, then i was like trying to go away. bt dear go pull me then purposely indicate to her that he and i alrdy stead. i didnt dare to look at her. but heng everything happen very fast, so i wasnt really very paisehhs. hais. saw u run back go toilet cry, bt i dont know what to say to u so just quietly walk away. im sryys, ying. bt somethings in life cant be like a gift that if u like it then i gv it to u. there is many things in life whereby u have to depend if e other party allows it. in this case, he doesnt like u and i will nvr allow that. im sryys. hope u faster get over it, kaes?

2 days have gone. i wonder how many days i have left with him bfore he leaves. hais.. i really wonder if all this is just fate. e other time u leave then i miss u like siaos then u come back. but this time when im gng to miss u like siaos will u come back? will that miracle happen? can i be self fish enough to keep u by my side? all i have said so far to encourage u to go was just to let u go agree. now that u have agreed to the scholarship, thn i shall tell u e truth ba. i didnt want u to go. i really really dont want. we have gone through so much just to come together. then now u are leaving agn. is all this counted as fate? for u to come and go? i really really want u by my side.. but all this maynot be possible now.. cause u have alrdy agreed. i know this day wuld come when i have decided to put on that smile to encourage u to go agree it. but would i hate myslf for that decision? i dont know. i wonder how i will cope with e days without u.. england is so dmn far away from whr we are now. i wonder what im gng to do.. 5 or 6 yrs will be a long wait.. will i have e determination to do so? or will i fail myslf.

im sryys. he is mine. i only have that few more days. ying, sryys